Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 57 seconds
For years now, my friend, Brandon Larosa and I have called each other out of the blue. We could not wait to report sightings of a funny bumper sticker, humorous sign, or mispronounced medical term. As a sign of the times, texting has become the more popular mode of communication. In reality, this is how I learned how to text. Brandon learned long before I did, so I was forced to learn in order to respond to his messages.
Although many have been forgotten, here are some recent ones that may get a chuckle out of you.
I expect this list, like my building translator and other lists I have assembled, will grow over time. I encourage your to please help add to our list with suitable additions. Thanks in advance for your anonymous submissions.
Here are some that we have alerted each other about:
You don’t pray in our schools, and I won’t think in your churches.
I was born OK the first time.
Science is not a liberal conspiracy.
Visualize whirled peas
I will surrender my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands
To err is human, to arr is pirate
- Now That’s a Fish
- During a brief medical interview by a firefighter “Ma’am, excuse me ma’am, what meditations are you on?”
- Oh, I red all about it on “Wet MD”
- Hiatus Hertia
- Ankilitis Spondilipsia
- Sick as hell anemia
- Immaculate degeneration
- Spinal mighty Jesus
- Heel Sperms
- Romantic Fever
- Scapshured Fracula
- Ingrownial Hernia
- Pending Adema
- Arial Fablation
- Epoxic Brain Injury
- Un-Biblical Surgery
- An acquaintance just got “Fixed last Friday”
- Tibula & Fibia
- Anta-Cubicle Fossa
- Rotary Cuff
- Rotator Cup
- Lymph Noids
- Di-oxygen pills (Digoxin)
- Peanut butter balls (Phenobarbital)
- Oxymoron,” That shit is bad! I had a friend that got hooked and he lost everything.” (Oxycontin)
- Tie-n-all (Tylenol)
- Neospermun (Neosporin)