How Far Out of Whack Can a Guy Get?

by | Apr 29, 2014 | Memoirs | 0 comments

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone knows what it is like to be discombobulated, I can usually deal with it for a while, and then this thing happened, and I sensed the urgent need to get recombobulated. Who could blame me?

When I realized I was out of whack

I needed to rent a car for a recent trip and discovered I couldn’t. I arrived to pick it up and, to my dismay; my driver’s license was expired for the past several months. Other arrangements were made, but due to it being a Friday evening I couldn’t get to the DMV until Monday. I snuck to my destination (300 miles round trip) under the radar in my own vehicle with an expired license. Little did I know that I was just beginning to break the law.

Next stop, the DMV

What the heck?

What the heck?

First thing Monday morning I strutted into the DMV prepared to take whatever test they had for me. I grabbed a number and was called up pretty quickly. A kind woman behind the desk said “all you have to do is slide your head into the machine and read the top line.” This was going to be a breeze, no written test, YES!

I adjusted and readjusted then muttered that everything was out of focus, “Here, she said “as she flipped a switch “read the top line now” I squirmed and realized that I could not see the row of letters any better.”I’m out, I said sheepishly, I can’t read this one either” she got frustrated and asked the woman in the next booth to let me use her machine, “Mine must be out of order.” Embarrassed I tried to read her lines of big blurry letters and could not, “I give up, I’m freaking blind!”

Was I being punked? Flunking the test, I asked her if she felt safe with me back out on the roads in my compromised condition with an expired license. “No, I don’t, she paused completely befuddled… I’m stuck; I certainly can’t give you a new license, but good luck!”

Stunned and confused, I paused in the foyer. Is this is really happening? I’m too busy for this crap. Should I call a taxi? I drove here OK, I rationalized that I had parked without hitting anything. I finally decided that I could make it home safely on my own, so I took another huge chance and turned the truck on and clicked in the seat belt.

I flunked

Johnny Law

Johnny Law

I left, checking behind me to see if I was being followed by Johnny Law, I contacted my eye doctors office on the cell, as I rolled onto the main drag keeping a huge buffer between me and any object, I told the cheery receptionist the highlights of my delicate situation then tried to figure out how to make an emergency appointment (which as we all know is nearly impossible) “You know,” I said, as it dawned on me, “it’s a day early to change my contacts, (I change mine once a month) let me do that first, then I will determine if this is really necessary” “OK,” she replied, “keep me posted.”

I hurried home and took my old contacts out. For some reason I couldn’t seem to get the long distance one out of my Right eye despite tugging on my cornea, so I blindly drove again to the eye doctors office.

“Well,” she said with a smirk, as she inspected my eye with what felt like a welding arc of a flashlight. Here’s your problem…” You’re missing your long distance vision lens.” We had a good laugh together, “Joe,” she said as she nearly lost her balance, “This is almost as funny as the time you came in with double decker contacts.” I asked her to keep this little incident just between us but I had my doubts that HIPPA covers this sort of thing. Armed with a new lens installed, my long distance vision improved dramatically. (Go figure) thankfully, I was able to pass the test on the first try (the second time around.)

What I learned

As I age and life becomes more complicated, things can get pretty far out of whack before corrective action must be taken. My tolerance for being discombobulated is amazingly high.

Being in whack

Being in whack to me means slowing down and making sure I am doing the most important thing at that moment, Realizing that I am easily distracted by emergencies, and requests for help, I need to always prioritize so my stuff doesn’t get put off forever. Asking for help from organized folks is a wise move too, thanks Shannon & Alyne! You combobulate me.

Tools I am using to remedy my malady:

  • I am writing more lists.
  • I am taking time to organize my work space and tools, who knew how fast personal mail can pile up.
  • I am communicating better with my team to keep everyone up to date.
  • I am taking time to regroup before and after a task.
  • I am discovering what the best time to do things. Like early in the morning to be creative. Late at night for chores.
  • I am taking time to recuperate/energize by vacationing occasionally.
  • I am listening to my body a little more and resting when I need to.
  • I am reading more and watching less.
  • I am getting my back adjusted by my chiropractor a little more often.
  • I am trying to be outside more working with my hands.
  • I am hanging out with positive minded folks.

Your comments are welcome. To ask questions or get more information about remodeling, click here to email me directly, or call 208-947-7261

If you or someone you know is considering remodeling or just wants to speak to a trustworthy remodeling contractor please contact me, you’ll be glad you did.

Disclaimer: Some of these images came from the WEB. If they are yours, and you object to them being used, please claim them and I will gladly remove and replace them at once.

Disclaimer: Some of these images came from the WEB. If they are yours, and you object to them being used, please claim them and I will gladly remove and replace them at once.

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