Estimated reading time: 7 minutes, 43 seconds
Yes it is the holiday season again, and I am definitely thankful for so many things that the list goes on and on. Sadly when one of my heroes, Andy Rooney, passed away recently, I got swept away contemplating my pet peeves. Andy was the keeper of all peeves, pet and otherwise. Being a half full kind of guy, it wasn’t as easy as I thought to start the list but here is my best first effort.
Andy Rooney is and was an American icon and a reason to watch something other than football on Sunday night.
I have taken it upon myself to carry the torch in his absence, thus becoming the curmudgeonly old fart for awhile.
A pet peeve in my mind is something that is annoying and essentially drives me crazy. I have categorize them to make reading them easier.
The list like many others in this BLOG will grow over time but the basic ground work has been laid.
- Do you have reservations? Why yes I certainly do, but I showed up anyway, lets give it a try.
- Having a waitress ask… Soup-er-salid? my response “Yes”. then there is usually an awkward pause …”well which one”? then I say “I’ll have the super salad you just offered.”
- The attention span of a gnat. After ordering a sandwich, having the sandwich maker ask again, ” now what kind of cheese?” after I just told them less than 3 seconds ago.
- Having a waiter helper bring out the food and not have a clue about who gets what dish. Make a diagram on your order sheet or do some brain training.
- Getting lukewarm coffee from a coffee shop. Coffee is what they do, it is in the name of their business. For god’s sake pay attention. Hot things get colder over time …even if left in a thermos. There are tools to check it. they are called Thermometers…use them. They even make IR ones so you don’t have to dip.
- At the end of the meal, I’m so sorry I forgot to bring you that glass of wine you ordered with your meal, would you still like it?
- Restaurants that stop taking orders before they close.
- Writing something important on a comment card and not getting a response.
- Having a waitress try to take away a partial beer when they arrive with another. Ain’t going to happen on my watch.
- Being pestered by a waiter that interrupts conversations to ask “Is everything OK?” This happened so frequently at Red Robin one time with my kids, I got worried that something was really wrong and we left. never to return.
- Restaurants lit so dimly you need a flashlight to read the menu.
- Having to hear ” Can I get you anything else”? after receiving my burger and fries… Hello… condiments. Oh never mind I’ll get them myself.
- Having the coffee shop gal ask “What can I get started for you?” when the line gets long, then having to tell what drink you ordered to someone else when it is time to check out. I just say it once, that’s all they get!. If they must know a second time I either have them figure it out or come up with another drink and really screw with them.
- Having the business hours printed so small on the door that you need to get out of your car to read them.
- Naming any day a color IE: Black Friday or Cyber Monday for that matter
- Getting up sold at the bakery, “Can I get you anything else”? Oh shit!, that’s right. Can I get a wedding cake with that bagel.
- Having employees in the store see you but not opening the door even a moment before the clocks strikes the exact time designated to open.
- Christmas ads or anything Christmas themed prior to the end of Thanksgiving. Where the “H. E. double hockey sticks,” did advertisers get the idea that this was cool. Like Occupy Wall Street, we need to apply a boycott of all stores that dare to venture into this shameless practice. Home Depot, Lowe’s, Costco…I’m watching!
- A new marketing strategy that makers of food and retailers are trying now. They are packaging their products in smaller identical looking containers hoping that you are focused on the price and grab the box leaving the unsavvy shopper unaware that they essentially boosted the price dramatically by placing less in a smaller box.
- Having check out clerks ask me ” Did you find everything OK?” My usual response is… “Is that all you’ve got?”
- Getting multiple phone books throughout the year. SOLVED! “Dad, what are telephone books?”
- Packaging that you need a knife and over 30 seconds to get into.
- Labeling on children’s medicine, it is always zero dark thirty when you need to administer them, could the dosing be any smaller or more complicated? How about including a magnifying glass with each container?
- Ridiculous warnings IE: 5 gallon buckets and drowning kids. Plastic bags and suffocation. Seriously do the manufacturers of these items really assume any liability? Perhaps it is a public service announcement.
- Shampoo bottles that have the word shampoo so small you can’t see it without really concentrating in the shower where your vision is less than perfect. And why is the shampoo clear/invisible, so you use more than you need? No, they wouldn’t encourage you to waste.
- Being forced to watch daytime TV during a haircut.
- TVs in a retail checkout line doing more shameless advertising.
- Self check out lines, I always have trouble on purpose and insist that a person comes to help me.
- Discovering that many Craftsman Tools only have a one year warranty.
DRIVING / TRANSPORTATION
- There is a joke about 2C drivers meaning those who registers their car in Canyon County are feeble. They are not the only ones, but I must admit they have a fairly random style of driving.
- Non timed lights on commuter routes. State Street…come on ACHD (Ada County Highway District)
- People that change multiple lanes at once without establishing themselves before changing again. Thanks NASCAR.
- Blinkers left on long after the turn is complete or not being used at all.
- Smoked covers over tail lights. The whole point of tail lights is to let others know what you are doing or thinking about doing. Why make them so dim that it defeats the purpose?
- “Merge” A foreign term meaning to match speed just outside your passenger door.
- Automobile headlight covers that develop a fog or obstructive film on the lens. Come on automakers this is dangerous. Never mind that a temporary fix is out there. I’m saying recall!
- Placing the little annual registration stickers all over the license plate.
- People that cut through a corner business lot, to avoid sitting at a red light.
- When parking, taking up more than the allotted lines with your fancy car to avoid others parking too close.
- Air travel in general but especially the announcements to not accept things from strangers and flight attendants showing us how to use seat belts (Seriously?) G Keillor agrees
- The belief that removing a receptionist that used to answer the phone and replacing them with an automated system is an improvement in anything.
- The belief that increasing the price means the product is worth more.
- having paid people stand out in public wearing stupid costumes dancing around and spinning signs to drum up business.
- Knowing that the union is paying people to stand out in front of businesses with a “shame on you banner” because they didn’t win the bid for some project or another.
- Having a phone on the counter in a waiting room. The note says that you are supposed to pick up the receiver to get the attendant that is watching you on a camera somewhere else in the building.
- Having to hit the “Hey Stupid” bell to get someone’s attention.
- Having to get wet turning on the shower
- Having more than 3 switches in a row.
- Not having switches in intuitive places.
- Not having labeled electrical panels.
- Finding the “real” low battery on smoke detectors when they all go off together. How about a low battery indicator?
- Filthy air filters.
- Having one of the front double doors locked during business hours.
- Having the open sign on even though the place is closed.
- Door closers that are so strong the door hits you or slams as they are closing.
- Having to ask where the restrooms are located.
MODERN LIFE IN GENERAL
- Having folks call (out of the blue) expecting me to know who they are. Be advised, my voice recognition software is INOP. I will hang up on you.
- Firemen blocking traffic to “Pass the Boot” begging for money.
Rest in peace Andy, I’ve got it. Love Joe