All The Kings Men

by | Aug 30, 2024 | Advice | 0 comments

Reading Time: 4 minutes

The Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme reminds me of another situation in a string of unfortunate remodeling projects that I have been weaving into a story for a while. I hear about a remodeling project gone wrong fairly frequently, and I have finally discovered a thread of commonality that seems to run like a river through them. There comes a point when they are so broken that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men cannot put them back together.

It’s never going to happen.

A Person Who Is Their Own Contractor Has A Fool For A Client

We all heard this quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln, “A person who is their own lawyer has a fool for a client.” One could infer that being your contractor could bring the same scrutiny. Being your own contractor seems harmless; we see it happening on TV constantly. You hire someone with carpentry skills and some tools and tell them what you want. Poof, cut out the remodeling contractor. A friend or neighbor said they did good work. What could go wrong? The one-word answer is PLENTY. Advertisements on every form of media trumpet sales and discounts on what you need, like kitchen and bathroom remodeling. One day, you bet!

Who Needs A Remodeling Contractor?

I do not hear about all the chuck-in-a-truck projects that go right; lord knows there could be plenty of them. I hear about horror stories, so perhaps I am jaded; at least once a year, I hear about or get involved in helping somebody recover from a catastrophe that could have been avoided. Here are the most common things that are missing. All great remodeling contractors have to start sometime, so maybe we will hire the next great one. Wouldn’t that be cool? Think of the money we could save! What I typically find are some key missing components.

  1. A clear and specific scope of work.
  2. A strong contract.
  3. An ounce of caution. 

I Am Never Going To Change Human Nature

Everyone wants a good deal; working on your own car used to be a thing, but cars have become too complex for 99% of the people to work on them. On the other hand, homes (on the surface) seem relatively easy to modify and maintain. That does hold true for the most part. The devil is in the Big Box Stores and on the TV shows, and In the way a skilled tradesman can make it look so easy to do. Everyone with a tool bag and a dream wants to tear into a house.

I ask a few pointed questions when I teach remodeling at Community Education on remodeling. Not to discourage weekend warriors but to inform and raise awareness.

  1. Does your time have any value?
  2. Does the quality of the results matter? 
  3. Is a little wabi sabi OK?
  4. Do you understand the risk?  You might have to do the work again or pay for it twice.
  5. Does your time have value?

It’s Like Watching A Slow Train Wreck

Slow Motion Disaster

The other analogy… It’s like watching out-of-control vehicles in an ice event. I will spare you the gory details. People have told me that they knew things were going sideways with their projects. They need to buy carrots and sticks proportionate to the project’s complexity. Check Trader Joe’s for small jobs or Costco for larger ones.

  1. A stern warning, using the stick.
  2. A word of encouragement often gives them a false sense that they might get the project back on track. Carrots
  3. Asking pointed questions about the collateral damage that they observed. Sticks
  4. Plenty try stern warnings to no avail. More sticks
  5. The fear of upsetting the workers, and they just don’t come back. You’ll need to shop for more carrots or take some Hopium (My drug of choice).
  6. Treating them to coffee and doughnuts is a tactic that seems to work for a day. Absolutely carrots.
  7. Then there is always the You’re Fired…Fired? You can’t fire me, so I quit! Definitely Sticks.

I’ll See You In Court!

Court?  Who said anything about going to court? I am a nice guy. Why would anyone want to sue me? All I wanted to do was pay a guy to remodel my house. This is America. Anyone can sue anyone for anything; we all know that, but this is nothing like what they showed on TV; as Kimberly Brown said, “Aint nobody got time for that.” This is, sadly, how one woman I helped ended up getting some money back after a botched job and having to do dishes in her bathtub for over nine months. Oh yes, this happened, my readers.

Hire A Professional Remodeling Contractor

The bottom line is that there is a broken that only gets fixed by others. I hate to be that guy. I typically run towards disasters. I think it is genetic.  Please avoid the risk in the first place. There are so many reasons to, but I decided not to mention them because deep down, that gut feeling if you listen to it, will guide you into selecting a contractor who does what they say and cares! In the end, you will know that this is someone you would feel comfortable referring to your family and friends.


Your comments are welcome. To ask questions or get more information about remodeling, click here to email me directly, or call 208-947-7261

If you or someone you know is considering remodeling or just wants to speak to a trustworthy remodeling contractor, please contact me. You’ll be glad you did.

Disclaimer: Some of these images came from the WEB. If they are yours, and you object to them being used, please claim them and I will gladly remove and replace them at once.

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